After another update to the PHP codebase leaves my ancient code completely non-functional and spurs another brief cost-benefit analysis of the time involved in learning PHP again against the actual benefit of doing so, coupled with the hosting company that bought my original hosting company suddenly realising it's been letting these ancient sites take up space on its servers for legacy prices, I figure about now is a good time to call it quits.
Well, maybe it was about seven years ago. Whichever.
I will admit a bit of sadness about having this pointless little corner of the internet no longer exist. I did always have plans to actually make some use of it, e.g. publish some short stories, do some more flash games, become famous by the production of some top-grade Quality Viral Content. Or just make some cool stuff. Flash isn't even a thing anymore, not really.
There is also just some plain nostalgia for the internet of ca. 2005 or so. I have no way of knowing how much of this is actually good things lost and how much is just me forgetting the bad stuff, of course. I do miss the internet that had more than four websites in it. Where everybody just learned HTML and made a few hideous web pages about their cat or their favourite TV show or whatever. That stuff's probably still around somewhere I guess but nobody sees it anymore. I know I don't. I'm probably as much part of the problem as anyone else.
Plus, television is a lot better now. Beating television was a bold claim in 2004 but now it's just blind hubris. Have you seen BoJack Horseman? It's great. I wanted BetterThanTV.com for the simpsons reference but Fox already registered that. it's for the best.
It's hard to actually believe that this place has been hanging around for 15 years or so. When it was made, the Web hadn't even been around for 15 years. Ten year old websites were respected veterans.
I hadn't even been around for 15 years.
I suppose my view of time has been distorted somewhat, after spending a fair while doing nothing I wanted to and assuming I would just wake up one day able to do things and stop being sad all the time, and a while longer holed up inside my room trying to figure out why I was in fact sad all the time, and a while longer trying to do something about it very slowly. And a while longer waiting for the NHS to let me change my endochrine system.
I allow myself such self-indulgent tangents knowing full well that hardly anyone if anyone at all is actually going to read this. If you think I'm some kinda loser for taking the time to write this then guess what! You're the some kinda loser who took the time to read it! Which one of us is truly the real some kinda loser here.
Don't answer that.
Part of me liked the idea of putting stuff out into the void, never seeing who was seeing it or really knowing if anyone enjoyed it. (Part of me still does, I guess, hence me writing this.) Sometimes people did write to me, saying nice things or yelling at me about that invisible mouse game I made, but I don't think I ever wrote anything in response. I do wish I could apologise to the people I didn't get back to, as that seems rather inconsiderate in retrospect, but it would probably just be weird now.
I also wish I could apologise for that bullshit trick I did in the last level of Invisibility where you lost halfway (through a very long level) depending entirely on picking one button at random, but what's done is done I guess.
If anyone does stumble upon this and has anything to say, do feel free to send any messages to tom dot pennock at gmail dot com, which a) is likely no longer a remotely effective format for dodging spam crawlers, b) isn't even my name any more, not really.
Thanks for reading.